An Eva Christmas Story
by soulrefrain
Summary: An Evangelion Christmas Special, a pilot's friend is his Eva
1. Default Chapter

A Sad Christmas  
  
'Christmas, it's Christmas and I'm still alone. Miss Misato went to Hawaii with Kaji. I envy them both. Life seems to flourish with those two.' Shinji sighs, alone at nerv central dogma.  
  
"Asuka." Shinji whispers the name with mixed emotions. 'It's nice to see her smile.' He thought, 'I hope you'll have fun visiting your father back in Germany.'  
  
Shinji silently prayed that Asuka would come home soon. It might be a little selfish, but he doesn't want to be alone.  
  
Shinji stopped for a moment, he saw a little boy, just about 6 years younger or so he thought. The little boy was lost. He felt that the boy shouldn't be alone this Christmas. He was just about to walk towards the boy but. the boy ran toward a middle-aged man. The little boy was smiling. The man hugged the boy and carried him in his arms. Shinji looked away. His heart broke into pieces. Tears were welling up in his eyes. Shinji continued to trek home.  
  
'Touji and Kensuke.' Both boys Shinji thought were having a blast with their family. Shinji imagined an incredibly good Touji feeding his sister with a smile on his face. He also imagined a deranged Kensuke swimming in a pool somewhere with his parents, on vacation.  
  
He didn't want to know where they went. Thoughts only made him sad. He tried to smile at the thought that he'd be alone, no classes, and no worries.  
  
"Father." Shinji left a small parcel before his father's office the day before Christmas. Shinji thought he was always to busy for him. He decided to accept the fact that his father didn't know he's alive.  
  
Tears were now rolling down his cheeks. I didn't seem to bother him at all, for he has been crying almost every night.  
  
"Home." Shinji whispers as he stood in front of Miss Misato's condo. It was filled with nice memories. Shinji brought out his Nerv ID card. He scrolled it down on the computerized pad. "Identification valid. Welcome home Shinji.'' An electronic voice mail replied.  
  
Shinji frowned. He wished that the machine were a real person. Someone he could talk to. She shook his head. Swiftly the door opened, he walked inside head tilted downward. He went directly to his room; dinner wasn't on his mind. He was too sad to eat anyway. He sat on his bed tinkling with his SDAT player. "I'm miserable," he said, as if he were talking to his SDAT. Closing his eyes, he took the blade he hid under his pillow and slashed his wrist. It pained him a bit, he gently hid the knife under his pillow and began to sleep.  
  
Earlier  
  
Shinji didn't notice the two people sitting at the couch. "He passed us." A blue haired girl said to an older man with glasses. "Rei, his eyes were closed. He didn't know we were here." Replied Gendou Ikari.  
  
Present  
  
Rei was headed for Shinji's room Gendou Ikari followed the timid girl who was headed for his son's room.  
  
Rei opened the door gently, taking a little peek. Rei frowned, this alarmed the Commander. "Is something wrong Rei?" he asked. Rei just stared at the commander, then opened the door.  
  
Shinji was asleep, he didn't have a calm expression though, and it was more of a frown.  
  
Gendou walked towards the sleeping boy. He gently brushed away a piece of hair that was covering Shinji's face. He smiled at his child. His Shinji.  
  
Rei stood beside him holding a piece of parcel. It looked like a Gift. She gently placed it on Shinji's side and gave him a kiss.  
  
Shinji moaned a little. But didn't wake up. Rei frowned, she expected Shinji to wake up with her kiss, but he didn't. She let that pass away from her mind.  
  
Elsewhere  
  
Unit 01 was alone, she was emerged in a room full of lcl. She didn't like to be alone. She wanted to be with him. To be with the pilot called Shinji. That boy was familiar to her. That boy made her complete.  
  
  
  
Unit 01 growled a little. The room was shining. it was shining a ray of blue and white colors. Unit 01 was online.  
  
Shinji's room  
  
"Lets go Rei." Gendou said as he was heading towards the door. Rei followed slowly. Glancing once in awhile at Shinji.  
  
Before closing the door. Shinji was glowing, he was floating, little by little his image were fainting. Gendou and Rei were taken surprised by this, they ran towards Shinji tried to grab him. Their hands failed them. All they could hold on to was air. A few seconds later. Shinji disappeared. All that was left from him was his clothes. Gently folded on the bed. A few tricks of blood on the shirt.  
  
Gendou frowned at the sight of blood. He felt responsible. Rei just stared at the commander. She frowned. She didn't understand why the commander was crying.  
  
"I've lost Shinji." Gendou whispered as he remembered receiving a gift, it was placed innocently outside his office. It's wrapper was simple, yet it was from his son. It wrote. Dad, merry Christmas.  
  
It burned him so. "I've lost Shinji."  
  
Rei, innocently tugged the commander coat, he showed no response. She tugged a little harder. Waking the commander from his daydream.  
  
"Commander are you alright?" Rei asked, a hint of concern was in her voice.  
  
The commander nodded.  
  
She didn't smile. She just stared at the pile of clothes left in front of her. She thought about Shinji. This was not natural. A human couldn't disappear on his own. Shinji's not an angel, or is he, she thought. No, she concluded. Shinji's not an angel.  
  
Nerv cage, Unit 01  
  
Shinji was sleeping in the arms of Unit 01. His cut has now stopped from bleeding. An image of a woman appeared in front of him. She looked like an older Rei, an older Rei with brown hair. She held Shinji's cut wrist and it healed.  
  
Shinji opened his eyes. A blurry image of a lady was standing in front of her. He blinked his eyes more, and his vision focused a little. She was surprised at what he saw. He saw Rei, a little older and also more mature, her hair's brown? This isn't Rei.  
  
"Who, who are you?" Shinji asked, almost like a whisper. The woman looked at him, she smiled a sad smile. The woman reached out and gave him a warm hug. He tried to resist but his body wouldn't let him. He was afraid.  
  
"Don't be scared Shinji. Don't be scared, I'm here for you. I love you. Don't be scared. I'm here for you. Your not alone, I'm here so, please don't be scared." Said the woman in Shinji's ears.  
  
'Her voice sound's familiar, I've heard her voice before.' Shinji's eyes sparkled.  
  
"Mom?" he whispered with tears in his eyes. The woman in front of him smiled.  
  
The woman hugged Shinji and she didn't let go. Not for almost like an eternity to Shinji, but he didn't care, he was not alone.  
  
"Do you want to be with me Shinji? Do you want to be with me? I've missed you so much and I don't want to loose you. I want you to be with me. Please Shinji, will you stay with me forever?" The woman asked.  
  
Shinji nodded, smiling, he's eyes full of tears of joy. Now he knew he wasn't alone. He never will be. He didn't want to leave his mother. Not now that he's found her. He smiled and said. "I won't live you mom. Not ever." The woman smiled. She smiled a warm and caring smile. She was no longer alone.  
  
Nerv Dogma  
  
Gendou Ikari was shouting commands on finding the 3rd child, Shinji Ikari. 'Shinji. Yui, Shinji disappeared in front of me.' he thought. De ja vu?  
  
Rei Ayanami, the 1st child just sat on a bench. Near the nerv cafeteria. She was hungry. She decided eat.  
  
*flash of light*  
  
Unit 01 cage  
  
Rei lost her desire to eat when she saw Shinji, pale as her, lying on the floor. He just appeared in front of her. She ran towards him and held his hand. He was cold. He was smiling. She closed her eyes, knowing that Shinji will not wake up for the first time in her life. She punched in a number in her cell phone. The commander answered. She told him she found Shinji. She told him where they were. The only thing she failed to mention was, Shinji will not be waking anymore.  
  
*Click*  
  
The phone went dead. She glanced once more at the now peaceful Shinji, Tears welled up in her eyes, she couldn't bear the sight of him looking this way. Memories, memories of Shinji smiling, filled her thoughts. She knew Shinji was dead, but she didn't want him to be, she could no longer bear it all. She cried.  
  
Minutes later  
  
Gendou Ikari arrived. He was shocked as well as horrified at what he saw. Rei was crying over Shinji, he didn't understand what happened. Shinji was smiling. He glanced at his arm, it was no longer bleeding. All is perfect except for one thing. Why was Rei crying? Then it hit him. Shinji wasn't breathing at all.  
  
Gendou Ikari dropped the cell phone on the ground and stared Shinji. This was not supposed to happen. Shinji was supposed to receive his gift. Shinji was supposed to.  
  
"I was to late." murmured Gendou. still staring at Shinji.  
  
Rei still in tears stared at him. "Sir." she replied.  
  
"I was to late. I couldn't make amends. I'm sorry. I'm sorry Yui." He replied looking at unit 01.  
  
Rei stood and hugged Gendou Ikari.  
  
  
  
Unit 01 eyes were glowing. Rei and Gendou stared at it.  
  
"Merry Christmas Father." a familiar voice said. Then the glow vanished.  
  
Gendou stared at the violet eva. First with surprise then with hatred. "Yui. why?" was all he could say.  
  
Gendou Ikari. frowned. Now he understood. Unit 01 took Shinji away from him, she couldn't wait any longer. Yui wanted to be with Shinji.  
  
He bowed his head low. All he had worked for, he did it all for Yui and his son. Now they are together. "Merry Christmas. Shinji." Gendou replied almost crying. He remembered Shinji's tiny present. "Merry Christmas."  
  
The End 


	2. A happy ending

H.Anno Sensei and Gainax own shin Seiki Evangelion.  
  
To the reviewers' happy New Year, I've updated this story, just as you'd like it.  
  
  
  
A Sad Christmas  
  
Christmas, its Christmas and I am all alone. Miss Misato and Mr. Rouji Kaji went to Hawaii. I envy them; they both have someone to care for.  
  
'Father.'  
  
"I wish Father paid more attention to me."  
  
Shinji sighs, walking alone at the hall of Nerv central dogma.  
  
"Asuka."  
  
Shinji whispers the name with mixed emotions.  
  
'It's nice to see her smile.' He thought,  
  
'I hope you'll have fun visiting your father back in Germany.'  
  
Shinji silently prayed that Asuka would come home soon. It might be a little selfish, but he misses her already.  
  
"Baka Shinji. dumkof."  
  
He smiled as he whispered those words, hearing them seem to comfort him.  
  
*Silence*  
  
Shinji stopped for a moment, blinking his eyes. Someone was in front of him, a little boy, and just about 6 years younger or so he thought.  
  
The little boy had a sad aura around him, even though the little boy was smiling, his dark sad eyes betray his fake façade.  
  
The little boy was lost. He's alone like me.  
  
He felt that the boy shouldn't be alone, especially in Christmas.  
  
The boy ran toward a middle-aged man, he was smiling, full of joy. The man hugged the boy and carried him in his arms.  
  
"Father."  
  
Shinji looked away. His heart broke into pieces. Tears were welling up in his eyes.  
  
"Why did you leave me alone."  
  
Shinji continued to trek home. Still sulking.  
  
'Touji and Kensuke.' Both boys were having a blast with their families this Christmas. Shinji imagined an incredibly good Touji feeding his sister with a smile on his face and a deranged Kensuke swimming in a pool gawking at some girls, somewhere with his parents, on vacation.  
  
He didn't want to know where they went. The thought of being away only made him sadder. He tried to smile that he'd be alone, no classes, no responsibilities and no worries.  
  
Day before Christmas  
  
"Father."  
  
Shinji left a small parcel before his father's office the day before Christmas. Ingeniously hidden, he smiled.  
  
Shinji thought that his father was always too busy to see him, so he put it aside. He decided to accept the fact that his father was his puppet master and he, the puppet.  
  
"I. It doesn't matter."  
  
Tears were now rolling down his cheeks. I didn't seem to bother him at all, it was almost normal for he has been crying almost every night.  
  
"Pathetic."  
  
He closed his eyes.  
  
"Home."  
  
Shinji whispers as he stood in front of Miss Misato's condo. It was full of nice memories.  
  
Shinji brought out his Nerv ID card. He scrolled it down on the computerized pad. "Identification valid. Welcome home Shinji." An electronic Kensuke voice replied.  
  
"Kensuke's Idea of fun."  
  
"My pal."  
  
Shinji frowned. He wished that the machine were a real person. Now he longed for companionship more than ever, to have someone to talk to. He shook his head.  
  
Swiftly the door opened, he walked inside head hung low, to his room; dinner wasn't on his mind. He was too sad to eat anyway. He sat on his bed tinkling with his SDAT player.  
  
"I'm miserable," he said, as if he were talking to his SDAT. Closing his eyes, he took the blade he hid under his pillow and slashed his wrist.  
  
"The rush!"  
  
It pained him a bit; he gently hid the knife under his pillow and began to rock himself to sleep.  
  
Blood, the forbidden fruit dripping from his wrist.  
  
Earlier  
  
Shinji hadn't noticed two people sitting at the couch were observing him. "He passed us." A blue haired girl said to an older man with glasses.  
  
"His eyes were closed Rei, he didn't expect company." Replied Gendou Ikari.  
  
Present  
  
they followed Shinji towards Miss Misato's Condo.  
  
Rei used her Id to enter the condo, the commander idly followed.  
  
"Point of no return he thought. They had much to catch up on."  
  
Rei was headed for Shinji's room. Gendou Ikari followed.  
  
Rei opened the door gently, taking a little peek.  
  
Rei smiled. The commander followed Rei's lead. "Is something wrong Rei?" he asked. She hushed the commander.  
  
"He's sleeping." She said with a little smile.  
  
Shinji was asleep, he had a troubled look and it was more of a frown.  
  
Gendou walked towards the sleeping boy. He gently brushed away a piece of hair that was covering Shinji's face. He smiled at his child. His Shinji.  
  
Rei stood beside him holding a piece of parcel. It looked like a Gift. She gently placed it on Shinji's side and gave him a kiss.  
  
"Merry Christmas Ikarikun."  
  
Shinji moaned a little. But didn't wake up. Rei frowned, she expected Shinji to wake up with her kiss, but he didn't.  
  
"Sleeping beauty," she thought  
  
She let that pass away from her mind.  
  
Elsewhere  
  
Unit 01 was alone; she was emerged in LCL, a room full of LCL. She didn't like this, to be alone, she missed him, and she wants to be with him, to be with the pilot called Shinji.  
  
That boy, that pilot he was born to be my pilot. My compliment, making me complete.  
  
Unit 01 growled a little. The room was shining. It was shining a ray of blue and white. Unit 01 Evangelion awakes.  
  
Shinji's room  
  
"Lets go Rei." Gendou said as he was heading towards the door. Rei followed slowly, glancing once in awhile at Shinji.  
  
Something was not right she thought. Liquid was flowing from his bed. Surely Shinji didn't pee in his bed. She wanted to be sure.  
  
"LCL. no, it's blood. COMMANDER, Shinji's bleeding."  
  
Ikari Gendou's eyes widened with fear.  
  
"Shinji."  
  
He ran back to the room holding Shinji, looking for the wound.  
  
"The wrists are cut." Rei informed him, a hint of care in her face.  
  
"Call the ambulance quickly."  
  
Ikari Gendou ripped Shinji's blankets and tried to stop the bleeding.  
  
"SHINJI!"  
  
Nerv Infirmary  
  
Dr. Ritsuko and Maya Ibuki were tending Shinji's wounds since most of the staff have left for their Christmas break.  
  
Gendou stood there, at the side of the room, holding Rei's hands.  
  
"Commander." 'He cares for Shinji.'  
  
"I shouldn't have left him. I shouldn't have left him. I shouldn't have."  
  
Ikari Gendou was now sulking.  
  
'Like father like son,' Rei thought.  
  
'Like father like son.'  
  
Dr. Akagi and her assistant Ibuki Maya finally finished the operation.  
  
Ikari Gendou ran towards his son only to be blocked by Ritsuko.  
  
"Step out of my way Dr. Akagi."  
  
"Sir, his conditions."  
  
"I said leave."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
Rei stood there wondering what this new and strange emotion that plays in her heart.  
  
"Is this jealousy?"  
  
She decided not to let her emotions get the best of her.  
  
"Thy heart is thee most deceitful thing there is." Recalling a scripture from the bible.  
  
She breathed deeply.  
  
Commander Ikari was now crying.  
  
"I've lost Shinji." Gendou whispered as he remembered receiving a gift, it was placed innocently outside his office. Its wrapper was simple, yet it was from his son. It wrote. Father, merry Christmas with that little smiley face ^_^.  
  
It burned him so. "I've lost Shinji."  
  
Rei, innocently tugged the commander coat, he showed no response. She tugged a little harder. Waking the commander to his senses.  
  
"Commander are you alright?" Rei asked, a hint of concern be in her voice.  
  
The commander nodded.  
  
She didn't smile.  
  
She thought about Shinji. Something must have triggered this reaction.  
  
Deep in Shinji's Subconscious  
  
Nerv cage, Unit 01  
  
Shinji was sleeping in the arms of Unit 01. His cut healed, it has now stopped from bleeding.  
  
A woman appeared in front of him.  
  
She was humming Fly Me to the Moon, singing the lullaby to the sleeping child.  
  
Her eyes showed care and love. She gently rubbed the child's back. A smile formed in his lips. He was happy.  
  
On first glance, she'd look like an older Rei, a Rei with brown hair.  
  
Shinji slowly opened his eyes. A blurry image of a lady was standing in front of him.  
  
He blinked his eyes more, now his vision focused. He was surprised at what he saw. Rei? A little older and also more mature, her hair's brown, did she dye her hair? No. the commander would never approve of it. This isn't Rei.  
  
"Who, who are you?" Shinji asked, stuttering, almost like a whisper. The woman looked at him and smiled. She smiled a calming sad smile.  
  
The woman reached out and gave him a warm hug.  
  
What is this feeling he thought. She feels comforting. Still he was afraid.  
  
"Don't be scared Shinji. Don't be scared, I'm here for you. I love you. Don't be scared. I'm here for you. Your not alone, I'm here so, please don't be scared." Said the woman in Shinji's ears.  
  
'Her voice sound's familiar, Shinji's thought  
  
'I've heard her voice before.'  
  
Shinji's eyes sparkled.  
  
Could she be?  
  
"Mama?" he whispered with tears in his eyes. The woman in front of him smiled.  
  
The woman hugged Shinji and she didn't let go, but he didn't care, he was not alone, and he was happy.  
  
"Do you want to be with me Shinji? Do you want to be with me? I've missed you so much and I don't want to loose you. I want you to be with me. Please Shinji, will you stay with me forever?" The woman asked.  
  
Shinji nodded, smiling, eyes full of tears, not of sadness but that of joy.  
  
"I'm not alone, I'm not alone. I'm not alone, I'm not ALONE." he thought cheerfully.  
  
Now he knew he wasn't alone. He never will be. His mother loved him. He felt so free. Now that he's found her.  
  
He smiled and said. "I won't live you mom. Not ever."  
  
The woman smiled. She smiled a warm and caring smile. She was no longer alone.  
  
"Even though it means living everyone else?"  
  
Shinji's head hung low. He remembered Asuka, Misato, Touji and Kensuke.  
  
He nodded slowly.  
  
"Yes."  
  
Nerv Dogma  
  
Rei Ayanami, the 1st child just sat on a bench. Near the Nerv infirmary. Shinji's been out for awhile, she was hungry.  
  
"Food."  
  
Rei closed her eyes.  
  
*Flash of light*  
  
She blinked. something was wrong. She wasn't at Nerv anymore.  
  
'Shinji Kun?'  
  
Shinji was laughing, he was with a woman. She was holding his hand as they were talking along the streets of Tokyo 3. The woman had wings.  
  
No. she thought  
  
She screamed.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
Fade to black  
  
"Rei."  
  
"Rei."  
  
"Rei snap out of it!"  
  
Rei was scared to open her eyes.  
  
"It's ok, it's me."  
  
Rei's head hung low. She slowly opened her eyes. It was Shinji.  
  
"Shinji?"  
  
She slowly looked up and smiled.  
  
"Rei Ayanami." another voice.  
  
Rei's eyes widened with surprise.  
  
"Yui?"  
  
"Ikari Yui?"  
  
The woman nodded her head, but she didn't smile.  
  
Rei noticed she was holding Shinji's hand.  
  
"Where am I?" Rei asked  
  
"Shinji. where am I?"  
  
Shinji remained silent.  
  
"Your in my mind." The lady answered  
  
"I see."  
  
She slowly regained her composure. She faced Yui. then Shinji.  
  
"Shinji. why are you here?"  
  
Shinji smiled  
  
"Mama called for me, so I'm here."  
  
Yui noticed where the conversation was inclining to go. she wouldn't lose him now, to someone like Rei.  
  
Her eyes narrowed.  
  
"Shinji. we have to leave, now." Rei said in an authoritative voice.  
  
Shinji's face turned to a frown.  
  
"I."  
  
"Shinji." Yui smiled, getting the boys attention.  
  
"Please leave Ayanami."  
  
'de JA vu?'  
  
"Shinji."  
  
"You heard him Rei. leave!"  
  
Rei felt confused.  
  
'Rejection'  
  
Rei nodded, she faded into white.  
  
Commander Ikari's Office  
  
Ikari Gendou was walking back and forth, again and again.  
  
"This was the first time Shinji actually committed suicide."  
  
Recalling Ritsuko's words.  
  
"Ikari you should have paid more attention to him."  
  
Vice commander Fuyutsuki said.  
  
"I'm a failure as a father."  
  
Closing his eyes.  
  
A young boy was standing in front of him. he was crying.  
  
He stared at the boy for a few moments, then left.  
  
"Father. don't leave me."  
  
He stopped, looked back.  
  
"!"  
  
"Shinji?"  
  
The young boy nodded.  
  
Fade to black.  
  
"SHINJI!"  
  
The commander was reaching out for someone who wasn't there.  
  
"I've lost him. again."  
  
He frowned.  
  
An image of Yui appeared in front of Him, then it disappeared.  
  
"Yui?"  
  
Another image of Yui and Shinji, hand in hand, both were happy.  
  
Fade to White  
  
"NOOOO!"  
  
Ikari Gendou woke up from his daydream.  
  
He ran back to the infirmary.  
  
"He's my child too."  
  
He noticed Rei was already there, gently holding Shinji's hand.  
  
He entered the room.  
  
When Rei saw the commander, she stood facing him.  
  
"She took him."  
  
Rei said in her normal quite voice.  
  
Ikari Gendou nodded.  
  
*BEEEEEEEP*  
  
"Flatline."  
  
Rei said quietly.  
  
Gendou was about to step forward when, Ritsuko appeared and held his hand.  
  
"Let go doctor."  
  
"Let go."  
  
Ritsuko still didn't let go.  
  
"Let me commander, let me do my job."  
  
Rei held the commanders arms.  
  
He looked at her face. Her eyes showed concern.  
  
He sighed.  
  
He understood.  
  
He let Rei lead him out of the room.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
Rei smiled, for she understood the feeling very well.  
  
"Everything's going to be ok." She said, smiling though she was unsure of her words.  
  
Waiting Room  
  
Rei and Gendou stood pacing too and fro, anxious for results.  
  
Fade to black  
  
Shinji stood in front of them. He was holding Yui's hands  
  
Rei and Gendou stood silent.  
  
Yui was smiling whispering something to Shinji.  
  
Shinji stood shyly, playing with his hands.  
  
Yui pushed Shinji a bit and winked at Gendou.  
  
Shinji faced them finally.  
  
"Merry Christmas Father" he said shyly  
  
Gendou Ikari's heart sunk. He was having mixed feelings.  
  
Slowly his faced formed a smile.  
  
"Merry Christmas Shinji. Merry Christmas"  
  
Nerv Infirmary  
  
Ritsuko: Shinji's stabilizing  
  
Maya Ibuki cheered.  
  
Slowly Shinji smiled.  
  
The end  
  
  
  
1 


	3. Spirit of Evangelion, third spin off

A Sad Christmas: The Awakening  
  
_Christmas, its Christmas and I'm still alone. Miss Misato went to Hawaii with Kaji. I envy them both. Life seems to flourish with those two._ Shinji sighs, _alone at Nerv central dogma._  
  
"Asuka." Shinji whispers the name with mixed emotions. _It's nice to see her smile._ _I hope you'll have fun visiting your father back in Germany. A father that loves you.  
_  
Shinji silently prayed that Asuka would come home soon. It might be a little selfish, but he doesn't want to be alone. 

__

Loneliness- The state of being alone.

Shinji stopped for a moment, he saw a little boy, just about 6 years younger or so he thought. The little boy was lost. He felt that the boy shouldn't be alone this Christmas. He was just about to walk towards the boy but. The boy ran toward a middle-aged man. The little boy was smiling. The man hugged the boy and carried him in his arms. Shinji looked away. His heart broke into pieces. Tears were welling up in his eyes. Shinji continued to trek home.  
  
_Touji and Kensuke, Christmas is here… I wish I was allowed to leave with you guys, I wish I had both of your guts. _

I hope you two are having fun. I was going to show off my leather jacket too. Shinji smiled inwardly "Thank Kaji" 

He imagining Touji holding his sister in his arms and Kensuke playing at some field with his toy guns. _At least I have friends._

He didn't want to know where they went. Thoughts only made him sad. He tried to smile at the thought that he'd be alone, no classes, and no worries. _I'm free…_

"Father." Shinji left a small parcel before his father's office the day before Christmas. Shinji thought he was always to busy for him. He decided to accept the fact that his father didn't know he's alive.

__

Father… I don't care anymore… I am here because I am alive… I am alive because I exist… I exist to serve humankind… bound by my Evangelion… 

"Pathetic…"

__

True…

  
Tears were now rolling down his cheeks. I didn't seem to bother him at all, for he has been crying almost every night.  
  
"Home." Shinji whispers as he stood in front of Miss Misato's condo. It was filled with nice memories. Shinji brought out his Nerv ID card. He scrolled it down on the computerized pad. "Identification valid. Welcome home Shinji.'' An electronic voice mail replied.  
  
Shinji frowned. He wished that the machine were a real person. Someone he could talk to. She shook his head. Swiftly the door opened, he walked inside head tilted downward. He went directly to his room; dinner wasn't on his mind. He was too sad to eat anyway. He sat on his bed tinkling with his SDAT player. "I'm miserable," he said, as if he were talking to his SDAT. Closing his eyes, he took the blade he hid under his pillow and slashed his wrist. It pained him a bit; he gently hid the knife under his pillow and tried to sleep. _No one cares anyway… Mama… I'm coming to you._  
  
Earlier  
  
Shinji didn't notice the two people sitting at the couch. "He passed us." A blue haired girl said to an older man with glasses. "Rei, his eyes were closed. He didn't know we were here." Replied Gendou Ikari.  
  
Present  
  
Rei was headed for Shinji's room Gendou Ikari followed the timid girl who was headed for his son's room.  
  
Rei opened the door gently, taking a little peek. Rei frowned this alarmed the Commander. "Is something wrong Rei?" he asked. Rei just stared at the commander, then opened the door.  
  
Shinji was asleep, he didn't have a calm expression though, and it was more of a frown.  
  
Gendou walked towards the sleeping boy. He gently brushed away a piece of hair that was covering Shinji's face. He smiled at his child. His Shinji…  
  
Rei stood beside him holding a piece of parcel. It looked like a Gift. She gently placed it on Shinji's side and gave him a kiss. _Ikarikun…_  
  
Shinji moaned a little. But didn't wake up. Rei frowned, she expected Shinji to wake up with her kiss, but he didn't. She let that one pass… _Maybe next time dear prince._

  
Elsewhere  
  
Unit 01 was alone; she was emerged in a room full of LCL, cryostasis. She didn't like to be alone. She wanted to be with him. To be with the pilot called Shinji. The one they call third child, the one she has chosen as her pilot, the one she protects.   
  
Unit 01 growled. The room was shining it was shining a ray of blue and white colors. Unit 01 was online.  
  
Shinji's room, Lovely Suite  
  
"Lets go Rei." Gendou said as he was heading towards the door. Rei followed slowly. Glancing back at Shinji.

  
Before closing the door. Shinji began to glow… a red-purple combo while he was floating, little by little his image was beginning to fade… Gendou and Rei were taken surprised by this; they ran towards Shinji tried to grab him. Their hands failed them. All they could hold on to was air. A few seconds later. Shinji disappeared. All that was left from him was his clothes. Gently folded on the bed and a few tricks of blood on the shirt.  
  
Gendou frowned at the sight of blood. Something was wrong that the lack of information would cause him gravely. He felt responsible. Rei just stared at the commander, emotionless as ever. She tilted her head, not knowing why tears were falling on the commander's cheek.

Gendou remembered the gift that was innocently placed outside his office. Its wrapper was simple, yet it was from his son. It wrote. Father, merry Christmas. _Shinji… _Nothing more but a slight memory… his son gone.It burned him so. 

"I've lost Shinji."  
  
Rei innocently held the commander's hand and squished it lightly. Tying to express. _I understand how you feel you are not alone in this._ But to the commander, that was a foreign, feeling.

"Commander are you alright?" Rei asked, a hint of concern in her voice.  
  
The commander nodded.  
  
She didn't smile. She just stared at the pile of clothes left in front of her. She thought about Shinji. This was not natural. A human couldn't disappear on his own. Shinji's not an angel, or is he, she thought. No, she concluded. Shinji's not an angel.  
  
Nerv cage, Unit zero one…  
  
Shinji was sleeping in the arms of Unit zero one his cut has now stopped from bleeding. An image of a woman in an angelic robe appeared in front of him. She looked like an older Rei, an older Rei with long black hair and amber eyes. She held Shinji's cut wrist and it healed.   
  
Shinji opened his eyes. A blurry image of a lady was standing in front of him. He blinked his eyes…_ where am I? What is this?_ His vision tried to focus on his hands, and his vision focused a little. She was surprised at what he saw. He saw Rei, a little older and also more mature, her hair's black? Amber eyes? This isn't Rei.  
  
"Who, who are you?" Shinji asked, almost like a whisper. The woman looked at him. She smiled a sad smile. The woman reached out and gave him a warm hug. He tried to resist but his body wouldn't let him. He was afraid.  
  
"Don't be scared Shinji. Don't be scared, I'm here for you. I love you. Don't be scared. I'm here for you. Your not alone, I'm here so, please don't be scared." Said the woman in Shinji's ears.  
  
_Her voice sound's familiar, yet in a way… it was vague and distant… I've heard her voice before._ Shinji's eyes sparkled.  
  
"Mom?" he whispered with tears in his eyes. The woman in front of him smiled, but didn't nod. He doesn't remember clearly what her mother looked like.  
  
The woman hugged Shinji and she didn't let go. Not for almost like an eternity to Shinji, but he didn't care, he was not alone.  
  
"Do you want to be with me Shinji? Do you want to be with me? I've missed you so much and I don't want to loose you. I want you to be with me. Please Shinji, will you stay with me forever?" The woman asked.  
  
Shinji nodded, smiling, he's eyes full of tears of joy. Now he knew he wasn't alone. He never will be. He didn't want to leave his mother. Not now that he's found her. He smiled and said. "I won't live you mom. Not ever." 

"Shinji… I am not your mother, Ikari Yui is long gone inside me."

"I don't care… I don't want to be alone anymore."

The woman smiled. She smiled a warm and caring smile. She was no longer alone.  
  
Nerv Dogma  
  
Gendou Ikari was shouting commands on finding the 3rd child, Shinji Ikari. _Yui, Shinji disappeared in front of me._ He thought.   
  
Rei was on her way towards the Nerv cafeteria to drown her sorrows. _Smb_

*Flash of light*  
  
Unit 01 cage  
  
Rei lost her cravings for beer when she saw Shinji, he was pale as her and beside him stood an odd looking woman. She almost looked like her except she had amber eyes and a long black hair and purple lips.

"She's free," was all she could say before a flash of light knocked her unconscious.

To be continued

Soulrefrain's notes:

Just an idea, what if Unit zero one was alive. Not Ikari Yui but the Evangelion herself, remember, the Evangelion is also human.

A spin-off from Evangelion Sad Christmas 

Next Episode

Spirit of Evangelion: Completion

Next stage


End file.
